Skip to main content

Renaming Port Blair: Welcome to the Sri VijayaPuram Comedy Show!

In a land of tropical trees, serene beaches, and islands where history runs deep, a name can mean a lot. But why let something like "public opinion" or "history" get in the way when you can have fun renaming a city overnight? Yes, ladies and gentlemen, hold onto your hats (or should I say helmets, because things are moving fast), Port Blair is now officially Sri VijayaPuram! Or wait... BharatPuram? Or was it Singapore Bay? We seem to have so many options that even those in power can't keep up!

 A Renaming Rollercoaster

The big decision to rename the capital of Andaman & Nicobar Islands was made by none other than a distinguished panel of our Mainland’s finest — including IAS, IPS officers, Government town planners, secretaries, and a good ol’ bunch of elected representatives. Now, don’t get me wrong, having officials making decisions for our beautiful island makes perfect sense… if only any of them were actually from here.

That’s right. Out of the 16-member committee, only few elected representatives have connection to the islands. And, ironically, the Hon'ble MP, Mr. Bishnu Pada Ray, the man who’s supposed to be the voice of the islands in Parliament, was not even born here. He even cheerfully endorsed the renaming as "BharatPuram"—a name that wasn’t even on the table. It’s almost like calling your new puppy “Fluffy” when you know it’s a Siberian Husky. But hey, what’s in a name, right?

Fast and Furious: Government Edition

If you think the process of renaming a city should take months of consultation with local communities, historians, and civil society, think again! Our superhero administrators managed to pull this off in record time, without breaking a sweat. Before anyone could say "Wait, what?" government departments started using the new name before it was even officially gazetted! Move over, Formula 1, there’s a new speedster in town.

I guess when the Union Government is involved, there’s no time for trivial things like public consultation or historical relevance. After all, who cares if the people who’ve lived here for generations don’t get a say in the name change? It’s not like they live here or anything.

Sri VijayaPuram: The New Name No One Asked For

Now, don’t get me wrong, Sri VijayaPuram has a lovely ring to it. It sounds like a place straight out of a mythological epic — you know, the kind where kings ride on golden chariots and the streets are paved with lotus petals. But Port Blair, oops, I mean Sri VijayaPuram, is not some ancient kingdom. It’s a place with a rich, complicated history tied to the British colonial period, the Indian freedom struggle, and the indigenous cultures of the Andaman & Nicobar Islands.

But who cares about that, right? Certainly not our speedy administrators! They’ve decided to usher us into a new era of “Sri VijayaPuram,” and they’re doing it fast. In fact, by the time you finish reading this, the name may have changed three more times of the wish.

 The Future: Andaman or Singapore?

And if you think all this renaming madness wasn’t enough, we’ve been promised that Andaman will soon become the next Singapore! Yes, you heard that right, folks. Forget about beaches and eco-tourism; we’re going to build skyscrapers, turn Campbell Bay into a hub of luxury, and the world will flock to Sri VijayaPuram (or whatever it’s called by then) in droves.

Never mind the logistical challenges or environmental impact, if our Hon'ble MP says it’s going to happen, it’s going to happen! After all, it’s not like we have anything else to focus on — like preserving the islands’ unique ecology, respecting indigenous cultures, or building sustainable infrastructure. Nope, skyscrapers and a name change are definitely the way forward.

 The Renaming Fiasco

So here we are, dear readers, on the brink of a new dawn for the Andaman & Nicobar Islands, a dawn that no one really asked for but is happening anyway. Whether we end up in Sri VijayaPuram, BharatPuram, or some other Puram, one thing’s for sure: we’ll all be sitting back, popcorn in hand, watching this circus unfold with a bemused smile.

And who knows? Maybe next week, they’ll rename the islands altogether. Stay tuned for more updates from the renaming saga – because in the world of Andaman bureaucracy, anything is possible, and everything happens fast.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Zubair Ahmed: The Voice That Echoed the Soul of the Andamans

 In the tranquil yet vibrant tapestry of the Andaman and Nicobar Islands, Zubair Ahmed stood as a towering figure, a journalist whose words illuminated the shadows and gave voice to the unheard. His untimely passing on July 7, 2022, left an indelible void in the hearts of islanders and the journalistic community. As the editor of The Light of Andamans and a contributor to platforms like Being Islander, Zubair was more than a chronicler of events; he was a beacon of truth, a defender of justice, and a storyteller who wove the essence of the Andamans into his work. Today, in 2025, as the islands continue to navigate the complexities of development, identity, and preservation, Zubair’s legacy remains a guiding light, inspiring a new generation to carry forward his mission. Zubair Ahmed’s journalism was rooted in a profound love for the Andaman and Nicobar Islands. Through The Light of Andamans, a news magazine he revived alongside his mentor Govind Raju, and later through his independ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Bijli Ka Googly : Andaman’s Monsoon Power-Cut Fiesta

Welcome to the Andaman and Nicobar Islands, where the monsoon rains drench our lush green shores and the electricity pulls a vanishing act faster than a street magician in a crowded bazaar. Power cuts, or as we lovingly call them, “bijli ka chhutti,” aren’t just glitches they’re our island legacy, as woven into our lives as fishing nets and coconut groves. The moment a raindrop dares to kiss those oh-so-modern underground (UG) cables, the lights flicker, the fans sigh, and we’re plunged into darkness. This is our story, a satirical splash through powerless monsoon days, written for you, our fellow islanders, who know the struggle all too well. When the monsoon clouds sweep in, turning our islands into a glistening, wet paradise, you’d think it’s time to brew some chai, fry pakoras, and enjoy. But hold that thought. The second a drop of water sneaks onto those fancy UG cables--poof! The power’s gone, like a guest who leaves without saying goodbye. Your fridge becomes a fancy cupboard, y...
Post a Comment
Read more

“Suno Andamanwalo! Andaman Ban Raha Hai Maldives… Bas Bijli Aur Paani Chor Do”

 Welcome to the picturesque Andaman & Nicobar Islands, where the beaches shine, the coconuts fall in rhythm, tourists float in luxury, and the locals? Well, they’re navigating potholes, blackout schedules, and tanker water with Olympic-level patience. In this exotic dreamland, the administration has found its new obsession: not electricity, not hospitals, not bridges, but eco-resorts. Yes, because nothing screams “inclusive development” like a ₹391 crore luxury retreat at Long Island while the common man sits in darkness, fanning mosquitoes with old election pamphlets. As per the official vision, eco-resorts will bloom at Smith Island, Shaheed Dweep, Long Island, Aves Island, and Sri Vijaya Puram. With budgets ranging from ₹60 crore to nearly ₹400 crore, these will feature five-star rooms, wellness spas, water villas, and if luck permits uninterrupted power. Meanwhile, back in the real Andamans, the NVVN Chatham power plant has been shut down for “upgradation,” resulting in sch...
Post a Comment
Read more